I’m going to try to learn to play the guitar…

Chance of success: ~23%.

A guy I know gave me an old/crappy/part nylon string/spanish acoustic guitar tonight, so that I wouldn’t have to 1. go to a pawn shop by me self and (most likely) get taken advantage of while buying a (most likely) stolen guitar, and 2. pay lots of money at a real guitar store on something that I don’t know how to use correctly. Yay for (most likely) friends!!

It’s got a broken e string, so that’s exciting. It’s not in tune, which is also cool. You think I’m being sarcastic, but I’m honestly so stoked about this. I can’t wait to fix ‘im up! It’s a darker color, not that light caucasian looking wood. The case is old and black and worn and one of the clasps doesn’t close, and there’s ONE random sticker on the back. To me, all of these features give my new guitar a lot of character, spunk, gumption if you will. I love him. I know most guitars are female, but to me, this one is a male. This is partly because it was given to me by a male.

note the classy designs on the middle part, where the hole is. I don't even know the anatomy of a guitar...

The best part is: I’m gonna get so many chicks with this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Meaning: I hope the cool kids will invite me to play guitar with them, even though I’ll suck. So far my repertoire consists of only three songs: 1. We Are Gonna Be Friends by the White Stripes. 2. New Slang by The Shins. 3. Edelweiss from The Sound of Music.
Not exactly songs people rock/jam out to. And since the next song I’m attempting is Enrique Iglesias’s “Be With You,” that doesn’t up my street cred any…I looked into “Thugz Mansion” by Tupac, but that shit is too hard to play. It’s like expert advanced. God, I love Tupac:

The definition of a BCM...

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Why I love Judge Judy…

she thinks computers and the internet are more complicated than building a nuclear bomb, and just as dangerous.

I need to find myself a tattoo artist to recreate this piece of perfection...

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Why breakfast is the devil…

This morning I decided to eat breakfast, because that makes you healthier! In a premeditated stroke of initiative, I bought Special K cereal, yogurt, and other health-y, breakfast-y items on my trip to the grocery store last week.

This morning I pour a modest bowl of Special K berry yogurt crunch cereal with 1% milk. At the end, I have leftover milk in my bowl. Naturally, I think: I know! I’ll finish the milk with those chocolate chip cookies I baked last night!

I proceeded to eat 3….4….5 chocolate chip cookies in the morning, before my day had started, before I had accomplished anything or even burned any calories. Yay for having a healthy start to my day!!!! Breakfast- I knew I hated you for a reason. Stay away.

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